Becoming a new mom is life-changing. It's beautiful, rewarding — and yes, it's also really hard. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone.
When you’re Googling "hard to be a new mom" or sighing that "mom life is hard," know that these struggles are real, valid, and common. Here’s a deep dive into the 15 hardest parts of new motherhood and practical ways to ease each one.
1. Physical Recovery After Birth
Why It’s Hard:
Your body just went through something monumental. Whether it’s vaginal delivery or C-section, healing can involve pain, stitches, bleeding, and exhaustion.
How to Ease It:
- Prioritize rest over everything else. Sometimes we have to find a way to nap or at least take it slow.
- Ask for help with meals, chores, and errands. If you don't have help then run the dishwasher, make a time for cleaning instead of doing it all day, or LET IT WAIT. It's okay to be with your baby first and foremost.
- Stock up on postpartum supplies like peri bottles, cooling pads, and comfy clothes. It's time to be comfy wearing sweats and cool mom shirts on the daily. You shouldn't be fussing about what to wear to do mom life.
- Talk openly with your doctor about pain and recovery milestones.
2. Breastfeeding Challenges
Why It’s Hard:
Breastfeeding is natural, but it’s not always easy. Latching issues, low milk supply, cracked nipples — it can feel defeating.
How to Ease It:
- Connect with a lactation consultant early. Getting the right latch ASAP in the first few days is very important for a long successful time of breastfeeding.
- Use lanolin nipple creams and invest in a good breast pump. You can order your breast pump before birth and also take time to pump between breastfeeding to increase milk supply.
- Remember: fed is best. Formula is okay if breastfeeding isn't working for you or your baby. Your baby needs to eat and a happy baby is a fed baby.
- Lose the schedule. The best schedule is feed the baby when they are hungry.
3. The Intense Sleep Deprivation
Why It’s Hard:
Waking every 2–3 hours is exhausting beyond words. Sleep deprivation affects your mood, patience, and even memory.
How to Ease It:
- Sleep when the baby sleeps (yes, really).
- Share nighttime duties with your partner if possible.
- Nap strategically: even 20 minutes can help.
4. Feeling Lonely and Isolated
Why It’s Hard:
New moms often feel disconnected from friends, work, and social life — especially during long days at home.
How to Ease It:
- Join local mom groups, mommy and me classes, breastfeeding support circles, or online communities.
- Plan small outings, even just to a coffee shop or a walk at the park. Getting outside with your newborn is a gamechanger! It will really breathe life for both of you. Just plan the car rides to be shorter and around the nap time if possible.
- Text or call friends — they usually want to hear from you more than you think.
5. Losing a Sense of Identity
Why It’s Hard:
You were someone before you became “mom.” It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost that person.
How to Ease It:
- Schedule "you" time — even 20 minutes for a hobby, a journal entry, or a favorite show.
- Start a baby bedtime routine asap even when the baby is still in the stage of waking up several times a night. Eventually, it gives some structure to your child sleeping at a decent hour, and that gives you adult time for relaxing, watching shows, eating a meal, and just simply chilling for a bit.
- Talk to other moms about this — most understand.
- Remind yourself: your identity is expanding, not disappearing. Becoming a new person, a mom, is your greatest role and you will start to put the pieces together as you grow into this person.
6. Managing Household Responsibilities
Why It’s Hard:
The dishes, the laundry, the endless list of things to do — it’s overwhelming.
How to Ease It:
- Lower your standards temporarily (it’s survival mode). This is not giving up..it's giving yourself some grace to take it easy and not feel bad about it. You are raising a kid and that has to be first.
- Create a simple, realistic checklist: one or two tasks per day. Clean for ten minutes a day before bedtime...something doable and simple, yet impactful.
- Say yes to helpers (if you have any) and delegate where you can.
- Do clean up when baby is playing or having a moment of chill. Set them on a playmat next to you while you tackle some tasks. Give yourself 15 minutes to tidy up. Just that can be enough to make things easier. Set it around the same time each day.
- Be more routine. Anticipate to be home before a certain time each night and in that window, you can tackle some clean up/playtime/and start the bedtime routine.
- If you can afford it, do wash and fold or hire a laundry service so you don't need to worry about laundry.
7. Constant Worry and Anxiety
Why It’s Hard:
Every sniffle or cry can send your heart racing. Newborns are tiny and fragile, and the responsibility feels enormous.
How to Ease It:
- Stay informed but don’t over-google symptoms. Call your doctor instead. Have an app so you can easily send messages to your doctor.
- Trust your instincts; you know your baby best. Don't wait to call the doctor.
- Seek professional support if anxiety feels unmanageable. Keep going to mommy me classes or groups. Take walks and get outside.
8. Dealing With Unwanted Advice
Why It’s Hard:
Everyone has an opinion — from breastfeeding tips to sleep schedules — and it can be overwhelming and conflicting.
How to Ease It:
- Smile and nod, but stick to what feels right for your family.
- Set boundaries kindly but firmly when needed.
- You can listen, but take it all with a grain of salt and just continue with what you are doing if it works for you.
9. Struggling With Schedules and Routines
Why It’s Hard:
Newborns don’t come with a manual. Figuring out naps, feeds, and wake windows can feel like solving a puzzle blindfolded.
How to Ease It:
- Follow baby's natural rhythms first, then gently introduce structure.
- Actually, get rid of the apps to track feeding and sleeping patterns. Feed when baby cries/seems hungry and let them sleep...but avoid late naps.
- DO set a bedtime routine and practice getting baby started with the bedtime routine at a decent time. This will allow you time to yourself and also set their circadian rhythm for good sleep habits as they grow.
- Remember: perfect schedules are a myth. Flexibility wins.
10. Body Image Changes
Why It’s Hard:
Your body looks and feels different. Social media often shows unrealistic postpartum “bounce backs.”
How to Ease It:
- Honor what your body has done: created and birthed life.
- Dress in clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Cool mom graphic tees, nursing t shirts and tanks that don't look like nursing tops, sweats, yoga pants, cool hoodies, and lots of layers.
- Talk kindly to yourself in the mirror.
- Drop the idea that breastfeeding makes you lose weight. You need to eat, nourish your body, and take care of a human. Weight loss doesn't need to be your top priority as a new mama. Some people do lose weight, and lots of mamas do not.
11. Financial Stress
Why It’s Hard:
Babies are expensive: diapers, formula, medical bills, child care — it adds up fast.
How to Ease It:
- Budget intentionally for baby needs.
- Accept second-hand items from trusted sources (it's smart, not cheap).
- Look into local aid programs for new parents if needed.
- Join Facebook BUY NOTHING groups where people just giveaway things like baby stuff, toys, and clothes.
- Do not buy constant toys and items...rather have core things that last longer and can be versatile for more use.
- Find playgrounds and activities that are free to roam with your kids.
12. Relationship Tensions
Why It’s Hard:
Sleeplessness, shifting roles, and stress can strain even the strongest relationships.
How to Ease It:
- Communicate openly — even when it’s hard.
- Plan small date nights at home (order takeout, watch a movie together). A cheese plate and some good snacks on the couch, cuddled in a blanket, can be a great evening.
- Be a team. Even when there is no time for much, being a team can help everyone feel like they are being helped.
- Remember: you're both adjusting to huge changes.
13. Pressure to "Enjoy Every Moment"
Why It’s Hard:
You’re told "they grow up so fast," but honestly, some days are just hard.
How to Ease It:
- Give yourself permission to say, "Today was tough."
- Capture small joyful moments instead of forcing gratitude.
- Cry! It's okay to cry and feel emotional. It is hard and you are allowed to feel these moments. Breathe and regain focus.
- Say NO. You do not have to attend everything, go everywhere, and be a yes person. Just say no and take it easy.
14. Lack of Time for Self-Care
Why It’s Hard:
There’s barely time to eat, shower, or brush your hair some days.
How to Ease It:
- Lower the bar: a 2-minute meditation or a warm cup of coffee counts.
- Prioritize small self-care rituals daily. Put a face mask on when you finally get a minute at night.
- I can't emphasize this enough...make a bedtime routine. Once baby does get to bed and can sleep for a few hours straight...it can allow you to sit down and relax.
- Self-care doesn't have to mean being out with friends or getting your nails done. It can mean just taking a walk, listening to music, or just sitting down. You can say no t things and feel okay that these "extras" will come later and the phase you are in..is perfect as it is.
15. Constant Guilt
Why It’s Hard:
Mom guilt creeps in about everything — from feeding choices to screen time.
How to Ease It:
- Remember: perfect parenting doesn’t exist.
- Love and presence matter far more than perfection. Connection is key to hopefully a lifelong bond with your child.
- Allow tv as a break if you enjoy that. To avoid screen devices to become a problem, avoid those (smart phones) in the first place and if you already introduced it...take it away so you won't have it become a worse problem in the future. Now is better than later.
- Talk to a therapist if guilt feels overwhelming.
Support Ideas for New Moms
- Create a postpartum support network before baby arrives (mommy me group, classes, workout class, a friend to talk to).
- Set up weekly check-ins with a friend or family member.
- Join new mom groups online for free advice and emotional connection.
- Explore mental health resources specifically for postpartum support.
- Use meal delivery services or meal-prep ahead of time.
- Use laundry services.
You Are Not Alone
Hard to be a new mom? Absolutely.
Is mom life hard? Without question.
But it’s also incredible, beautiful, and life-affirming. You don’t have to do it all, and you’re already doing better than you think.
Reach out. Take deep breaths. Cry if you need to. Laugh when you can. And remember — you are exactly the mom your baby needs.
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